Let’s Talk About Healthy Relationships!

It is very common for students to arrive to counselling seeking support after the breakdown of a relationship.  Understandably, it can be a difficult time; however, we can also use this as an opportunity for reflection.  Within our reflections, we can often find ourselves focused on the red flags.  Such red flags may include lack of respect, love bombing or controlling behaviours.  These are important factors to consider.  However, for the purpose of today’s blog post, I want to focus on the green flags for a relationship – these are the positive signs of a good and healthy relationship.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

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Below are some attributes of a healthy relationship:

1. A sense of balance – you find happiness in spending time together; however, you also enjoy your own activities that are outside of the relationship.
2. Healthy Boundaries – it is okay to have limits within the relationship.  It does not mean that you need to be together all the time or do everything together.  Healthy Boundaries create trust and safety within a relationship.
3. Communication – if something is bothering you, it is best to talk about it.  It’s important that each person communicate their own needs and wishes while also respecting those of their partner.
4. Safety – the presence of physical, sexual, emotional, or spiritual harm is not okay.  You have the right to feel safe within your relationship.  Counselling support is available here at the college: Counselling Services | Fanshawe College
5. Value – A healthy relationship includes partners who listen to each other - you communicate in a way that demonstrates that you value and accept each other for who you are.  Feeling comfortable in being yourself in a relationship builds self-confidence.
6. Conflict Resolution – this is a tough one for many.  Moderate conflict within a relationship is normal and healthy – it signals that something needs to change.  Healthy conflict resolution involves working together to solve issues and concerns. It can be helpful to make use of “I statements” (e.g. I feel frustrated when my opinion is not respected). 
7. Encouragement – you encourage each other to grow and pursue dreams; you each support the other in being their own person.
8. Commitment – you are invested in the relationship and your partner.  You both give adequate time and energy to the relationship.
9. Trust – a healthy relationship builds a sense of trust when words align with actions.
10. Accountability – it may be difficult, but it’s important to admit if you’ve made a mistake.  It is also important that each partner takes responsibility for their own behaviour and attitude.

What would you add to the above list? 

If you would like to learn more about healthy relationships, the counselling department at Fanshawe has a group available. The group meets in the Kind Space F2012 on Wednesdays at 3 to 4 p.m. from February 26 to March 26. 

Register for the Healthy Relationships Group